It’s a good question.
Hell it’s a valid question.
Why do this?
For me, it goes way back or real deep depending on who’s looking and how they’re looking at it. From my seat …it’s both.
Early childhood to mid teens – “you can be anything you want …you’re wonderful …what the hell is wrong with you …what is your problem …you’re doing that wrong …you’re so smart …how did you know how to do that …you did a great job …can’t you do anything right …that was a stupid thing to do!” UGH! How the hell does a child have a fighting chance?
Mid to late teens – Everything made me feel fat. My hair never did what I wanted it to. Even just one pimples made me feel like it was the only thing a person saw when they looked at me. Bitchy back stabbing girls…good grief they were everywhere! No wonder I liked hanging out with boys better. Speaking of which, why was I always the buddy? Damn I hated sitting at home every weekend. Oh, and what about those paranoid moments? “Are they talking about me? I think they’re talking about me!” Ah, what fond memories I have of it being my week to be ignored. Gotta love junior high crap in high school.
Ah the 20′s.
I think I’ll just make this a list.
- Met the love of my life. *giggles* (See below)
- Got married.
- Moved back to Georgia.
- Got pregnant.
- My sister-in-law died in a terrible car accident.
- Moved to New York. (Hubby’s home state.)
- Hubby starts his affair….oh, with a woman he worked with and I made dinners for. The card games were fun too. Just wish I hadn’t found out about one week before I gave birth. DROVE ME CRAZY!
- Had my beautiful daughter.
- 41 days later hubby decides he wants his family. (To think I was so grateful! *belly laughter ensues* wow.)
- 7 days later I found my daughter dead.
- Depression….dark dark dark depression.
- Got pregnant again and had my beautiful baby boy!
- Baybeeeeee weight!
- Got pregnant again and had my beautiful baby girl! Done. LOL
- Even more baybeeeeee weight!
- Bad marriage gets worse.
- Another miscarriage.
- More weight.
- Divorce is torture.
- Met the man of my dreams! (What’s the definition of facade?)
- Every relationship has issues. *hammer to the head* JK JK JK!!
- QUIT SMOKING –> October 11, 2001!!!
The Lovely 40′s!
Of course there is so much more to why I want to do this.
- Too much to talk about.
- Hi, have we met? I’m a fat ass.
- I’m 46 and a fat ass.
- I’ve had weight issues for the majority of my life.
- I’ve never been happy or comfortable with my body.
- I’ve been fat since the late ’80s. I got fatter in the ’90s and here I am an even fatter fat ass in the 2000′s.
- My back hurts, my knees hurt, my legs hurt, my neck hurts. Damn! I hurt! LOL
- I feel out of breath so easily.
- My aunt died from diabetes. My granny had a life of diabetes complications. My mom has diabetes. I am on my way to being a diabetic too. I don’t want to be.
- I have skin issues.
- I have acid reflux going on now.
…but I’m not about to sit here and spill it all. You’re not a shrink so I’ll spare you.
What I will say is… I’m just flat out sick and tired of being everyone’s caregiver! All I know is …This SKINNY CHICK IN A FAT SUIT is sheddin’ the suit! There’s gotta be a reason that stands out for you.
Leave me alone.
Take care of yourself.
Get out of my way.
It’s about me now!
That’s my story. So, the question to you is…
Why are you doing this?
I’m just flat out sick and tired of being everyone’s caregiver!
All I know is …This SKINNY CHICK IN A FAT SUIT is sheddin’ the suit!
There’s gotta be a reason that stands out for you.
Leave me a comment below.
Leave me a comment below.